daily life.

two days. and i only wrote 2 pages of the marketing proposal.
seriously, i can't do business. :(
i mean i can easily do up a 2 page science report in a day.
it won't be perfect, but at least i can vomit something out.
this is disastrous.
it's like bulimic.
i try but nothing's coming out.

bleah.

----


i have this housemate which i kind of dislike.
he's like a 5/10.
and he has been a 5/10 for the past few weeks.
but of course living under the same roof requires me to see him everyday.
Anyway, he's a 5/10, borderline.. I won't be nice, but I won't be nasty to him either.

but then recently he has been fucking rude lah!
I mean if i wake up in the morning and i walk into him at home, I'll at least greet him "morning"
If he comes back and walks past the living room and i'm in the living room, I'll say "hi"

it's not even nice. it's just basic courtesy and simple manners.

wtf. this 5/10 ignores me everytime!
fucking retard right!
i thought only girls have pms.

the world is turning around.
girls are turning to men,
boys are turnign to women.

and apparently, maturity doesn't comes with age.
or so i've learnt.

i'd love to talk about all the childish nonsense that he do all the time.
but hey, it's a great Sunday here.
i'm just pissed cos he just did his usual 'stunts' again.
and his story is pretty much the same with all immature/childish boys.
yeah. it's like history repeating.

boring.

how come only girls get to grow up but boys don't?
so unfair.

troubled half max.

i know i should stop whining and suck it up.

ok fine.

sigh.



Scars are the wounds that we show. Time only heals when you let it go

disheartened.

If only business people are honest, (or if everyone is honest, generally), maybe science people wouldn't have to do IRR, RRR, NPV, marketing proposal and shits like that.

We have to, so that we don't get cheated and conned next time and just let somebody steal our inventions/research.

We need to do accounts so that we can keep within our research budget, otherwise no money and nobody cares even if your research is fantastic.

We have to learn all the engineering stuffs so that we know all our machines and bioreactors and don't let engineer cheat us in repairs, or wait for them to arrive while our culture dies.

We have to know the interior design and layout so that we can follow the ISO standard and build a lab properly so we don't have to keep renovating. Every window, every door, every table also must ISO standard. wtf.

And we still need to be creative if we ever want to set up a company because Wyeth, Pfizer, ESCO, Bio-rad,  are too boring.  Unlike say, Apple! so intersting.

Suddenly scientists seem like the dumbest of all.
Ugh.

Seriously can not live on satisfaction and interests.
Sad,really sad.

my life is just great. Repeat it a million times and a lie might just turn true.

Ok, wth. it's the 21st century. even my dad is on facebook!

my whole nucleus family of 7 members, are all on fb.

so please hor.. exercise some censorship when posting/tagging me on fb k?

it's not a bad thing right? having parents on fb...
ok, who am i kidding. it's just as bad as having ur boss on fb.
but at least if it's the boss, you can kind of subtly ignore the friend request and hope he forgets.
but parents....... remember.

so.. "what do do?"

hmm. it's okay. need to get connected right? i haven't called home for weeks i think. =X

---------------------------------------
i want to talk about my day, just sometimes, i need to find a place to talk about it. I can't write about it here, and i obviously can't write about it on fb..

so i'm learning to just keep it to myself and just shut up.


yay.

最讨厌闲人。

空闲闲着没事干整天闲言闲语爱说闲话的闲杂人！

ttm.

i think sometimes.. i think too much. but then again, my intuition seems to be pretty accurate most of the time. which means to say, i really think too much, and people really go to alot of extent to make me seem like i think too much, which in fact is what they are really doing and trying to seem like not what they are doing to make me feel like I think too much.

argh. nothing.

some people are just a waste of my time.

it's thursday already!

Finally. dreadful week will be over soon. Just one more day to go through and then it will be Good Friday! I'll pray hard that kiong gets to come out tomorrow and my week will be salvaged hopefully~ :D Otherwise, I'll re-read my entire series of twilight all over again to make myself happy.

have you ever been so pek cek over somebody that you wanna cry and scream? i can't describe the pek-cekness, every single time i describe the whole event and everything else top below left right, the more pek cek I felt. Doubled leh! And it's alll the time! repeatedly over the past year. Over. And over. and over again. many times!! Okok. Stop. chill chill. I should read my twilight books agian.


After my Angels & Demons. Not bad so far! :) Maybe just abit.. like the davinci code, on religion and symbology. But interesting still.. suspense. :) not a bad book.

and after eragon. Not bad also :P


Finished watching 一切完美1 a few weeks ago, not bad loh.. i think, shixinhui looks nicer in short hair right! 实力派哦！

用内涵弥补一切缺陷.. 内在的美迷住每个人的眼

my favourite line!! cause it's so true. It's really hard to find people who really appreciates inner beauty. I think kind people, no matter how plain they look, they just have the... glowing smile radiating right! haha. drama drama. :P

anyway, waiting for part 2 dvd to come out! so i can watch haha. i actually missed the whole 2 season on tv. Heard that part 2 won't be that nice though, but.. ok lah. :)



Hmm.. alright, maybe i should head for bed now. I must have accumulated alot of bad karma in the past that's why i'm having such a bad life now. :( i wanna sleep!

updates?

ah.. so work like.
is it weird to be working at my age??
hmm..

anyway, Friday was the social night~ kind of erm, awkward and weird thing to go cos.. I'm so not good and fond of socialising. in fact i think i most probably embarrassed myself unknowingly that night. so yeah, =I stressed. But i guess it was a great night for him, haha. :)

Not much pics cause I just got a feeling that everything is so serious and formal down there that I better not throw his face and start taking so many photos and cam whoring around =X

Actually it wasn't so bad lah, I enjoyed myself too except that I was unfamiliar and everything was so serious to me, otherwise I'm sure i would have had more fun. new experience anyway. Oh, and I have "socialised" a new friend that night, haha, everyone meet jasmine... haha. =P





And then prolly about two sundays back I went JB again, and she brought me to this sushi house for yummilicious sushi buffet! :D :D

****************


ah.. okay i'm tired.
why oh why do i have work tmr??


you know recently there are just some idiotic people that's just, I don't know, determined to make other people's life living hell? And then some people who just totally don't deserve your kindness anymore cos all along you've been so nice to these people and then when you want something from them, you're just taken for granted.

You know "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". It's almost as if they want people to do this to them as well, which is ridiculous! the things they do are quite mean, why would they want people to do this to them as well? So i guess it only mean one thing, that they are just selfish people who expects but never gives.

And you know la, i would always go "next time I'm not going to do this this this for them!" but a few months later i just forgot how mean they have always been and just forgot the issue altogether, as if nothing happened. sigh!


And so I say... there is enough people in this world to make your life difficult, you're the last one who should be making your life even harder.


so ok! breathe and relax~~~

bad bad bad week

i think last week was so jinxed. Everything that was supposed to be good, were bad. And everything that could go bad, went worse. And yeeap, yet another week has passed so fast. I already saw the beginning of April's roster and, wow.. it means i've been working for almost a year already. =X


And, I've just enrolled myself for driving.
And hopefully, i can get it all done by my birthday, haha.
Otherwise, i hope i can get it by this year la, I know the difficulties in booking a tp test.
ahh. and hopefully get it the first time and save my money :X

Maybe this will put a stop to all my procrastinations, and a start to all good things!

Maybe I should go for Mayday's concert in Aug too.
I'm starting to regret so much for not going for Avril's one in last October, sigh..

And i should buy an oven and start baking soon!
I doubt i will be able to do my lasik this year though,
and diving cert..
so demoralizing.

A bit no life lately.
Disastrous last week has dampened all our mood to the bottom.
can't wait for my long leave in April,
and that's 2months away.

hai hai..
I need to plan my time properly now,
so much things all over the place.
i sucked so much at time-management la.. :(

and again, i won't see kiong for two weeks.
and soon it will be 1 month..
and then it will be monthssss...

argh.
i'm so angry with myself.
:(

Black.

Sing me songs that echo in my head and in my heart
that's where you are...

And I don't know if you feel me here
I can tell you one thing is clear
I will feel you...

Forever



very emo and blue today.
technically speaking monday blues don't apply when i'm not working, but still, emo-overwhelmed.


should have met mistress for dinner, if not for my very fickle and biased mum who would rather fly my kite so that she can buy dinner for big sis. and then I'm eating maggie mee. i'm just complaining at no one in particular, just very pms-ed. you know?! eeew.


and then when u realise you just spent hundreds over over an ugly set of hair. But nothing looks nice on my head anyway, so I'm pretty sure it's my head that is the problem. everything is just weird blah blah blahhhh~


and then you just wanna sing at every rock song on your playlist so loud that you'll break into tears. and then all of a sudden it plays lovey dovey romantic songs that makes u go EEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!!


And i wish I can call my daughter Alice next time just because... I don't know! i can't get her hair. I like her. She's small. She super cool. the name is cool. Alice Ang sounds cool. And she's fictional!. wow.


Why can't people just be like what their AGE is suppose to be. Immaturity sucks big time for those around them, how long do you want to take before you finally GROW UP MENTALLY?! 50 years??? Can't you just act like your age? what's so great about being mentally retarded?!



Okay, that felt good over my side. I'm actually saying more than I should out loud. which is crazy.


I just miss kiong.
Bye!
it's our anniversary in another 27.5 hours! :)

And so it's over.

I finished the series.. I thought, the last book was my favourite. :) except for the crappy last part. Might be better if there was really a fight in the end (fight fight fight! hahah). Draggy but.. better for the movie also next time! but i can't stand reading fighting scenes, so i'm saved. =P

Intriguing.

Almost like Harry Potter, you really want the whole series with you, haha.


Not working today, no monday blues.
time of the month where i really have no appetite to eat. hope it stays that way. Love to eat, but hate the guilt after that. Every girls dream to be slim and light. Sigh. If only.

Met jermaine for dinner, talked about aeroplanes, kites.... The BIGGEST aeroplanes and the pilots of them. tsk! don't u just hate pilots. or pilot-tresses for that matter.

had a hair cut.
bad idea.
can't see much without my glasses.
saw him cut my hair really really short. and i just.. kept quiet. Maybe i need that change.
so when it wasn't what i expected it to be (very short), i was quite.. anything?

hmm... i wonder why i'm so moodless. I don't feel anything. Oh, i can feel irritation somehow. hahaa!

should i go for pilates tmr???
what am i suppose to do after that? :(
Enjoy my free time while i still can, i suppose..


and.. it would be kiong's birthday in.. 5 minutes!!
celebrating at different places, but celebrating. haha.
it's his birth-day. so it's.. something. :)
gonna see him....
soon! :o)

我不干了！

work is so tamade today! I have so much pent up anger. ROARR...!!! I just want my loud LOUD LOUD MUSIC!!

Me: i wanna quit already! i want to find a new job asap! confirm! confirm!
Kiong: hmm.. really ah really ah? they very bad hor! but it's like tt everwhere one lo...like everywhere.

Me: i don't wanna work already i wanna find a new job! really really!!
Jermaine: Hmm.. why? u wanna come my workplace? the people are like this everywhere one..


everywhere?!! Everywhere is where all the aunties reside i tell you. Nicole is not like that. lichang is not like that. Kiong is definitely NOT LIKE TT. my classmates were never like that. everywhere?? I can relate so much with the attachment students but the aunties in my lab just pisses the hell outta me.


I know I shld just ignore them.
And kiong said something which made me realise... Ok, he said "You never eat today! See, a little bit angry already. must eat. must eat."

Ya. i know it's true
but i see the weighing scale how to eat...
heavier and heavier..
It's a vicious cycle lor.

you see the weighing scale, you don't eat
you don't eat, you get angry,.
you eat, you get fat.
you get fat you don't eat.
you don't eat you get angry.
and it never ends!!

hai hai hai!

It's chinese again.

总觉得这整个星期都很邪门， 很不走运
今天是本人在人生当中得到的第二封投诉信
难道做的每一份工都会有投诉信？！

第一封也就不提了。
一眼就看得出是在pms的捣蛋小妹妹找我麻烦。
明明写很大一条EXPRESS LANE 如果auntie跟他的女佣要排我可以怎样! 根本就是两个人在买东西我赶他走啊!

可是今天，总觉得真的是我错了
虽然不想也没办法
只怪自己眼睛跑掉没看好

真的是倒霉的一天啊！
买了东西忘了拿，得特地跑回去拿不然同事就没晚餐了
明明和平常一样把东西放在那里，偏偏今天烧起来。
Plastic leh!!

我觉得我们中毒了
倒霉毒~

distracted. and very random.

I wanted to write down all my angst I had with the business people at work until I went friendster and saw the horrific picture that diverted my whole attention.

FUCK.

oh, i mean FUG-ly picture.






























It was taken just a few hours ago lor! I was rushing here and there to end my work and she just snapped this horrendous fugly picture of me with my constipated look. Ok la, at least I looked really pissed off with work which I was.


And then I dunno why all my picture look constipated. Maybe I really do have a constipated and shitty face.
haha. actually this was because I forcefully refrained myself from opening my mouth to smile. Self taken not bad hor?!


SIGH~~~ I'll never let my face land on other people's camera again. I know I'm not pretty, also no need to show to whole world what~~ =( I'm really affected!!!

OK, nvm. HMMMF.


*******************

Work was really hectic this week. God knows why. And I got a taste of how people really have nothing better to do and they'll find trouble and stir it up. The whole incident just reminds me of Just Follow Law where they CC here.. CC there. It's just a small matter and even the general manager knows.

You know why?

because this kuku macnugget have nothing better to do and can't mind her own business and CC the whole incident to General Manager, operations manager, business marketing manager, Lab managers, and maybe even to the HR manager. BUT not to my own head of department.

It's like she have really nothing better to do and she have to FIND something to document and write something to make herself look useful and suck up to everyone. UGH! And the thing is I don't even know how the person who stabbed me look like. SICKENING!!

And then bo bian lab manager have to hold meeting with us for like SOOOO long and dreadful. I was just complaining to him that they have made so many mistakes and hindered our work but we don't COMPLAIN AND CC TO EVERYONE over simple and small matters. Even those huge issues sometimes they just covered it up to clean their own backsides. And we don't complain! because we UNDERSTAND that they didn't mean to make those mistakes.

And they are really so.... NOTHING BETTER TO DO! I dunno any other appropriate words to use already. It's like they enjoy stirring things up to their own mood and for no apparent reasons. I was so nervous and pent up I swear I was choking on my words when talking to the manager and everyone just turned to see because they thought I was crying.


Next time.. you all must document these things.. you know, write it down.. then we can see the statistics and see if it's the same person making the mistake then we can take action.


LIKE HOW?!?!!! take photos of every wrongly labelled and barcoded samples?! They can just delete and clean out the evidence everytime we write it in the system how to have evidence???


And I think business people and science people really cannot work together. One only think about money, another only think about results. MONEY MONEY MONEY. MONEY BIG AH! dunno save so much money for what. tmr car bang and then die you can't even bring money to your graves what.


GRRRR... mad mad mad. Actually I'm just mad at the people who stir things up. Because everyone (other than the business side people) knows that it's a small matter brought attention to EVIL people and blown up to even more evil people.


ok that's all.
***************

Hai ya the piggies are all so big now! 3 weeks old and they are no longer small and vulnerable. they're irritating (still cute) and refusing to let me carry them anymore. I have to catch them lor. THey're so cute... those little rascals. They be gone soon though to better homes haha!

And I think different people have different impresssion on how I got my guinea pigs. LOL.



And here is the ORIGINAL true story of my guinea pigs:

One day...
on our 100th day anniversary on the 1st May 2006,
we bought Rexy and Cherry (male & female) from Farmart.

Cherry died a few months shortly after we brought her home.
And Rexy was left alone for about a year and a half.
We both thought he turned gay because he only like guys (ie jer's bf and kiong)
Like he turned eunuch already

So on one fine day, a few few days after our final final FINAL papers of our final year,
we decided to buy a baby for rexy to cure his boredom.
And so we bought DONUT from the pet shop at jurong point,
together with a new and BIGGER cage.

The second part of the story is correct though.
about how we thought both was male
and then one fine day I realised her tummy was big and
POP! POP! POP!
the babies came out and I became the "granny"


Haha. so yep. Two will be going to vic's cosy home.
LOVELY owners leh! unlike irresponsible me.
and one to jer's friend.

and i might need to seperate donut and rexy in case they decide to pop something out again. hai.. cannot live together. =X

*********


and horror of horror.
My choya is almost finished! I really dunno who, or how. But... I guess it's a good thing. I can eat the plums already. haha. And the taste is actually much heavier at towards the end.. more sour.. NICE! :):)



BBQ on National Day! wooopie. I like BBQs! All the nice food and fun. But preparations are very sucky. And all the homosapiens are terrifying. :(


Oh and I'll need to train for my marathon ah... die die..


*************


Was so excited for nini on her first day of school. I can't rmb what the feeling was like. Cos I'm already blocked out to any love for studying. Or school. But I like the fact I'll get to see her on and off haha~

And the sound of Biostatistics and metabolic chemistry scares the hell outta me. WAHHH~~!!!!!

rants and such

Probably about 6 years ago, I got to know this girl, somewhat cute and friendly. And we became friends. I went to her house often, did projects together, played jenga together. And it really sucks knowing she'd turn out to be so ugly and horrisome to be friends with. We haven't been in contact since we graduated, don't ask me why. It was almost as if I never existed in your world, and so be it.


3 years later, you decided to be friends again?!

Maybe.


Thought it would be nice to catch up on my life, fine. But it turns out that the only purpose of my number to you is only to "check market". When you asked if my boyfriend and I are still together, maybe you just wished that we weren't, just so to prove that your relationship lasted longer than mine. Do you even know what's my boyfriend's name??


Apparantly you only wanted to see how I am doing so that you can show to me that you're living better off than me. And that even if I am studying science, I don't do as well as you.


And after you've proven your point, you disappeared.


And you reappeared once again with the same old purpose of stepping me into the mud.


What?? Salary high is money, then my salary is NOT MONEY is it???!!!


At least I am working with nice, awesome and smart people in my lab, while you're working with the same kind of people just like you are - ugly and shitty. And all the people I know are all

NICE AWESOME AND SMART.


and you're not in any of the above.


So the next time you decide to use my number to show off your little pathetic life to me again, your name won't appear on the screen of my phone.


Yep, that's it.
Shitty huh?


You know, friends are people who will be there for you when you need them, true friends are people who will still be there for you even if you don't need them to be there. Talk nonsense with you, share everything with you together.

Don't find me only when you need me, I am not a rag.

what i did today

sms.
talk on the phone.
toilet.
call dr evil office.
call dr evil handphone, CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE-
call dr evil office again.


watch tv.
listen to music and scream bout my sunburn.
toilet.
call dr evil office.
call dr evil handphone, CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE AGAIN!-
call dr evil office again.


eat chocolates.
watch chunkyroll.
call dr evil office.
call dr evil handphone, CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE AGAIN AGAIN!!-
call dr evil office again.



play wahjong.
watch chunkyroll.
call dr evil office.
call dr evil handphone, CURRENTLY NOT AVAILABLE AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!-
call dr evil office again.


He is still so uncontactable, as always!
sigh.

what can i do with a B....

this must be the first time i cried, ALOT, because my results sucks big time. i just close my eyes and go to sleep, hoping that when I finally open my eyes I would have let go of the whole damn thing. And hours and hours passed.. news just got worse. even the CMI people with their shitty presentations and lousy character got A. why are we put below them after all the hardwork, after spending tons of hours editing our presentation and report to the perfect. why did they make it seem as if we are of the same level as those lousy pieces of shit.



if we're bad students (and this is so subjective), they are no better either. why us?
so much unjust.
and people don't really care bout it.



whatever happens i swear i am never going to be like those assholes. or rather, that asshole who gave me that results.. i've never liked him. but i didn't do him any wrong. WE didn't do him any wrong. in fact we gave him that little respect that he did not deserve at all and this is what still happens in the end. It's not even a misunderstanding, it's an obvious biasness against people he likes and people who are not useful to him. if he ever sees this, i just want to tell him that the people he gave an A to mixed two different kinds of feed of different proportion, different quantities and of different nutritional value to his project fishes. People can be so amusing sometimes. oh-so-helpful!




anyhow, I just feel that it is something that we deserve and did not get. and don't even give me that two-faced look (i dunno how it looks like but..) and think that but you really don't deserve A what. what are you whining about! you're such a loser!

you don't know the shit we've been through so I don't need your comments.



and the feeling is back. that the whole world got it except me.

studying

Guess what time I slept?? 4.30A.M.!
Had to redo one whole section of the report cause my friend didn't put it in past tense. I don't know why, I was a little pissed. This is the nth times were have been doing report and he doesn' know that procedures supposed to be in past tense??? He was asked to redo the whole materials & methods cause it was wrong, but now it is still wrong. Don't know what else to say except hopeless..

So I think I better redo for him. Today due leh! And so in the end I didn't study much for the quiz today but I still slept at 4am. Haii. I can't be bothered, I am sooo tired.. Cannot skip drE's lesson cause i need to ask him bout my fyp. I quite like studying early in the morning.. I like the quietness of it. The cooler weather. The I-am-all-alone-but-everyone-is-at-home feeling. Hehe.

Argh.. Still have only half an hour more to go before school. I really really really cannot be bothered to study at allll!!!! sian sian sian. Blog when I am back from the quiz. Haha.. god bless me.


p/s.: I just killed a fly with my hands! Ewwwwy... But man, I am getting good at slapping flies every since my fyp lab is at the agrotech lab. Killing all those mosquitoes can train me to kill flies ah.. woooo.... O.O

aren't you excited?!

Why today is a good day

1. It's weekend once again!


2. It's the end of our feeding trial!!

Finally.
Woo hoo.



But I'm starting to get so irritated by everyone lately. So inefficient. And all I can do is just sleep and wait for them. Literally. Frustrating. Argh.

And I didn't go for lessons today. Pissed. About some stuffs which happened yesterday. How much must you do to get me irritated, so irritated.


oKay bye.
the worse thing about today is that I still have to do my fyp stuffs. And then here comes the most irritating of all irritants - my project supervisor.


And then fyp.

And having no money doesn't help a single bit.
:(




okok, really. Bye.

life can be so unpredictable

Just got back from school..
Just weighed my fishes and made the feed for next week.


Feeling tired, down, pissed and sweating.


Was late for the first lesson which was supposed to be at 9AM and I thought it was 10AM instead. But the teacher was really nice, she gives a better first-impression compared to other lc lecturers. Me on the other hand, left her a bad impression of myself I guess.


Can you be mad at your friends?
Sometimes people get really angry, and I think to myself there are just reasons which you don't know and maybe people don't want to tell you.

There's a reason to every thing that has happened, obviously people don't like to do wrong things right? So I always thought there must always be a valid reason on the things he do (which he always do them wrongly of course).


But now I think, understanding may not be a good thing towards these kind of people. Give an inch and he'll take a foot (direct translation la.) I just hate it when people don't bother. Yes so what if people understand? You know it's wrong, you don't do it again. But because people understand, you think it's ok to do it again, wrongly.


You don't bother about school, you don't bother about your friends sacrificing things for you while you go play and get sick and don't do work. And when you're well you don't apologise and continue to play until you get SICK and still don't do work. You don't bother about other people's feelings, take it for granted the people that actually want you to do well.


It is disheartening to know this kind of people. And I am getting really sick of trying to tell everyone maybe he has his reasons. Put effort in the things you set out to do, honour your promises, take responsibility for your actions. Don't just whine like a baby and think everyone else IS YOUR MAID.


I think maybe it's the tapioca that's making me sick and groggy. I am feeling sick of the things I do for others. Sick of the people I see and sick of people treating me like dirt. The expectations and trust were there, and disappointment follows..



Sometimes I really don't know what I am doing, what I am supposed to do, what I should do, what I can do, what I want to do. So many thing which I want to say but didn't, and so many things which I didn't want to say but did.

Have you experienced these kind of feelings before? :(


First week of sch ends here.
And I'm already feeling sick.
Sick of the people that is.