12 (f*ing) degrees.

I bought a heater just this afternoon. Once again, a first time in my life I'd ever need a heater. I don't think they even sell heater in sg. 

Can't imagine the temp for winter coming next month. I have toasty toes now, because the heater is just infront of my feet, and so my fingers are pretty numbed.

A few episodes back of 康熙来了was saying that the older you get, the more you'll be afraid of the cold. Gosh, I can't help but admit I am old. Or rather, not young anymore.

I remember I don't even wear jackets or sweaters when I entered poly. I wore sleeveless, comfy, "airy" clothes to attend lectures in freezing LT. When I wore jacket, it was just an accessory back then.

And then by the end of year 3, I was practically wearing/bringing my thick jacket because, I AM REALLY COLD.

When I started working, their aircon was permanently down (yes, the aircon was down for 1.5YRS). But despite it being down, I still wore my long sleeves/pullovers/sweaters, on hot sunny Singapore afternoon into a hot toasty lab, with my thick lab coat some more!

Thinking back now, I want to slap myself so much for wearing such thick clothes to work. what the hell was I thinking.

what i want to say is, it's even colder here, and i'm old :( i miss they warm days which i can easily get in sg. I think i'm hard to please; I hate the sun, I also hate the cold.  

GAH!

---------------



I had this wave-like feeling recently. One which I have not felt for a long time. Assignments, papers, assignments, papers, and before I finished my assignment, another one comes up, and then exams again.

I don't seem to hate it anymore, I don't lament and whine about them as I would have done before. Nor do I love it of course. It just seem like a necessary chore, no hate, no feelings, just necessary, part of life, 任命 kind of feeling. :/

I dread it still.  When I can't finish or do my assignments or presentation. But.. I think it's up to me to make them possible, and I have only myself to blame if i can't finish or do my stuffs well. Which sucks because I feel so disappointed with myself whenever I take 'too long' to just do a simple assignment, or I can't finish writing my exam paper, or I didn't study well enough for my papers..

I just feel like I could have done more, but then I know i will still choose to sleep over read more notes. the notes don't really bore me, but I just prefer my bed, or games and shows.


I just finished my mids, which i am quite sure i did badly.
And next month's my end semester exams already.

You know, I feel like I don't belong to australia, and i don't belong in sg as well. I don't know if i'd be better of in sg or in aussie. i'm not even thinking which is better, instead, which one i'd be less worse at.

why do i always have mixed feelings.
why oh why?