3 days of leave left me even more lethargic i think. But it's good to be back at work, it's almost going to be too bored at home. Tho I kinda dread their constructive comments on my horrendous hair ya da ya da da da~ but turns out, it was quite.. manageable.

and today i went to trim my brows, i'm definitely not sick but.. that beautician's fingers are so damn smooth!~~ very.. subtle and perfect kind of fingers? those that don't do dishes.. perfect for gu zhen kind of fingers. or maybe my face is just so rough and all fingers will be uber soft in comparison. hmmmm.


I wanna have silky fingers too.
and that lady is so.. cute and pretty. telling me that she's scared of blood and needles and don't dare to see doctors haha. small things that made me laugh.



Just a few days recently, while i'm on leave-at home emoing-rolling in bed-feeling pmsed, I have this sudden realisation that forever means nothing, sometimes (like the trailer below, it's just a word), it's an entire different thing when it comes out from a different kind of people. Till a point when i felt so dejected that I think I'll never want to make anymore effort to make anymore new friends anymore.

Because people leave, people don't live up to your expectations, and maybe i didn't live up to their expectations as well.

all the hopes and dreams that we saw in the beginning, how strong our friendship will turn out, how we wanted to keep in touch even if she or she leaves, or when I leave. And then one small thing can just change and ruin everything. EVERYTHING. and whatever that once made us laugh till we cried, were forgotten. so easily. so so easily. and she probably doesn't even give a shit about it. we can't even have a proper conversation anymore.


so what's the point.
what's the whole point.
right?
sad.

and the whole point of me saying this whole thing is because, i'm still thinking if i should just give everything up and hide at one corner until the day i die. Or should I just take it in my stride, you gain some you lose more, life's like this, life will be like this, let go.

:(

*******



On a happier note...
OMG OMG SO EXCITED!!!!!!!
NOVEMBER 2009. =D



NEW MOON. not my favourite book, but the transition between my two fave haha. Ya I know, they all look like dogs to me too. And maybe Rosalie wasn't really that ugly like she appears to be I guess.




And I'm reading the series, again! still so fascinating. :) and I'm going to force myself to read book 3. and maybe I'll see some light in that book when i read it again.