mundane?

was walking the usual route home frm the bus stop.
it's always so heartening to see happy family around in Singapore. :) saw a dad squatting down with his son and daughter in the middle of nowhere, just cuz the son feels like squatting down and the dad plays along.

what fortunate kids to have such a nice dad.

dad loves the kids.
kids love the mum.
mum loves the dad.

the other way round applies too.

I'd prolly be kicked in the butt by my dad and if I do that when i was young. Even if i knock my head or fell on the floor and injure myself, sobbing away with blood dripping, I still STILL think, my dad wants me to take care of myself, fend for myself and GROW UP and don't bother them so much.



which makes me kinda sad when i reach home..
:(


hack it if it's PMS.
it's not as if i can CHOOOSE to be a male or female.

but just so happen i feel so depressed when i reached home.

I'm like one pathetic soul, wandering around alone in my world. everyday i do the same usual things of:

waking up - work - meet kiong - go home - bathe - check emails - sleep.


yes, and today i felt it.
felt it so hard and decided to just jot this down here.
and the only reason why i blog about it is because of the exact same reason why i blog --i have no one to talk to.
:'(


which is sad.


everyday i put on a stupid looking mask and forced to talk to people i have no idea of, just so to hope i can get my A for attachment.

i laugh at their gossips, at their cynical jokes, at the bad things, at their idiotically stupid remarks and go along with them.


yes. i feel like vomitting when i look into the mirror..
:(


i quite miss going out with my friends happily. just friends. friends friends friends. people who care bout me, enjoy with me, talk and chat, concern, everything. i don't expect my friends to be always there for me cuz when i think about it, i don't think I'm THAT great a friend anyway.

WHICH, makes me conclude that i've really failed terribly as a person.


and i'm quite sad bout everything. :(


i'm quite clear about what I'm saying, but maybe just not too sure if it's true. i wonder what happen to my life.

cuz everything seem right, but felt wrong.



was i ever happy at all before?

:(